Eulogy for Active Judy

Written by Judy Davis

We are here today to mourn the loss of an incredible human being who has passed away. You see, she had a disease which manifested itself in all parts of her life.

This was a disease that is cunning, baffling and insidious and has such horrific effects that it threatens all life itself. Well, actually the only ones who might really be sorry that she’s dead are the people who were able to take advantage of her incapacity. Her death was no accident. She was killed – intentionally euthanised. She was put to death for the betterment of all mankind – especially those closest to her. I have heard it said, “Some parts of us must die so that the healthy life in us can flourish.” This woman was a vehicle for undesirable behavior. If she weren’t put to death no one would be safe.

You may think that euthanising a person is a harsh punishment. But first, consider all that facts before making a final decision.

The woman put to death was Active Judy Davis. The me of the past. I stand here before you today because there was a part of me that was so unacceptable and damaging to my life that I had to put it to rest–sothatImaylive,and–sothatyoumaylive. This process is extreme, but it is not excessive. If active Judy was not eliminated I would not be able to stand before you today and give you the good news that no matter how far down you feel you have gone, all is never lost.

My name is Judy D. and I am blessed to be living the God given program of recovery today. I had to overcome the pains of being a mother without having a child. I had a DSS case. I had to overcome the pains of being an active client of the criminal justice system. I am a convicted felon. I had to overcome the pains of being homeless. I had to overcome the pains of being a battered woman. I had to overcome the pains of being on the run for a significant amount of time. I had to overcome the pain of knowing all of the undesirable things I had to do daily to maintain a bad habit. I had to overcome the pain of kicking dope in a jail cell. I had to overcome the process of being in early recovery without knowing that I was worthy of living. I had to overcome the judgments of others. I had to overcome facing life on its own terms without being anesthetized. I had to surrender to a power greater than myself because I was unable to take care of my own responsibilities. This power is God almighty. He is the only one who has been able to put me on a path of healing and to keep me there. The rewards are great enough to keep me grateful for even the breath in my body. Everything else I consider a luxury. This has not been an easy process for me. The wreckage of my past still has a way of rearing its ugly head, but at least I know that there is a gravesite for all of the failures that used to consume me.

If you are going through something that you feel is too much for you to handle then I encourage you to ask for help. The people here at Rosie’s Place live for the purpose of helping you to get better. There are lots of others who have the same intentions for you.

All you need to do is admit your need and begin work on getting past your dilemma. Another saying from recovery is “an addict, any addict, can stop using, lose the desire to use (whatever your hang-up is), and find a new way of life. Never again need an addict die from the horrors of active addiction.”

Today I sing. Today, I laugh. Today, I compliment others. Today, I give thanks. Today, I want to live. Today I want to see you live. Today I am available to help. Today, I am the mother of a 26 year old son and a 16 year old daughter who know my story and neither judge me or hold animosity toward my past hurts. Today I do not hurt.

Of course there are people who are actually grieving the loss of active Judy. Those are the people who would see others oppressed for their own well-being. Fortunately, those people are not a major consideration for me anymore. I am blessed to have good people who watch my back and do their best to insure my positive success. I am indeed blessed.

I personally forgive this Judy of my past. If I were able to have her know anything it is that because of what I have been able to learn in recovery I now know that she was not a bad person and that most of her regretful behavior was not her fault. I will forever be grateful to her for not taking her own life, (which I know that she wanted to do many times), before the miracle happened. The miracle of her demise so that the miracle of my life as Judy D in recovery is affording me the opportunity to live happily ever after.

-Judy Davis

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